[問題] I need someone to correct my play~

claire165

I need someone to correct my play~
I wrote this play by myself. This is for my grope presentation.


I need someone to revise for me. Especially on my grammer and dialog.


Very appreciate~






The three moves of Mencius' mother




~Scene one~



Roles: mother, son，two people who were crying for the death（A,B）, a dead person



Place: At their first home



Time: In the morning



Mencius' mother is weaving while Mencius is fooling around.



Son: Mom, I am bored. Can you play with me?



Mom: Dear, don’t you see I am busy right now? Go out and find something new yourself.



Mencious walks outside, seeing two people who were crying for the death at the moment.



A: Daddy~ how come you leave us alone~ ~



B: Darling~ I want to go with you. Why don’t you take me with you?



C covered with a cloth is lying






Mencious is standing aside, watching them crying. After a while, he walked back home.


Mother is still busy weaving: Honey, you are coming home so soon. I have been working all day long，feeling so exhausted now. So tell me, what’s new outside?



Mencious begin to imitate what he just outside.： Daddy~ how come you leave us alone~ ~ Darling~ I want to go with you. Why don’t you take me with you?



Mencious’ mother turns out to be angry；she hit Mencious’ forehead hardly.



Mom: Are you crazy? What are you doing?



Son: I just imitate what I saw. How come mom you get so angry? Is that anything wrong? Don’t you think that is funny?



Mom: I can not find anything funny here，only stupid I think. It seems that you do like to imitate right?



Mencious looks innocent and poor



Mom: OK! I think we definitely need to move to a new place.



Mom tweaks his ear and holds the weaving machine as the same time



Mencious and Mom go down the stage










~Scene two~



Place: market



Roles: Mother, Mencious, The vender, D,E（the shoppers in the market ）






The vender is taking a cymbal on his hand and barking for selling the medicine.



（At the same time, Mom is at the second home,【the right of the stage】weaving.）



People D,E walk to the vender after they hear his barking.






The vender: Everybody pay attention to me!


And then he strikes the cymbal three times, everybody gathers around.


The vender: Today, I want to show you a magic medicine, which can keep you from any disease. No matter you got a cold or have a broken leg. As long as you take this medicine, you will recover and be healthy forever.



D: Really? It sounds like a fairy tale! Maybe you just want to defraud us of our money.



E roars: Yeah~ it’s fake!



C: No No No~ Believe me! I am an honest businessman, selling this medicine for ten years. I won’t lie you. Come closer. Allow me to show you how magic the medicine is.



The vender put his cymbal on the ground and began to show people how magic the medicine is. People there gather closer.


At the same time, Mencious picks up the cymbal and strikes loudly.



Mencious pretends himself as the vender.


Son: Pay attention to me! I want to show you a magic medicine, which can keep you from any disease. No matter you got a cold or have a broken leg…..



Mom in the house notices.


Everybody in the market focus their attention to Mencious.


D: Look, this little child is selling the medicine!



The vender stroke Mencious’ head.



The vender：Hey~ kido, are you imitating me? I think we can be good partner, what do you think? Do you want to help me sell this medicine?



Mom rushes out of the house with great anger and has a broom on her head.


Mom hit the vender’s bottom and expels other people with the broom.


Mom: Get away of my son. You evil!



Everybody runs away, except Menceious.



Mencious still stands there and has no idea how come his mom gets angry? He looks at his mom naively.



Mom raises the broom high in the air and is going to hit her son.


Mencious is scare then, so he closes his eyes.


Mom: Anyway!


Mom throws the broom away and gives up punishing.



Mom: It’s not a good place for us I guess!









~Scene three~



Place: The third home which is next to the school



Roles: Mencious, Mom,









Mom: Darling~ I think I should send you to the school. You know, you are already 7 years old now. It’s time for you to acquire some knowledge. Your deceased father had always wished you to become a phenom. （Take out the deadee of her husband）



Son： Is “going to school” funny?



Mom: Nm~ not bad I think! However, you have no alternative.



Son: OK~






Mom helps Mencious carry on his book bag and watch him go.



Mom goes back to the machine and weaves.



Mom（soliloquizes）:I hope he can become a diligent boy this time.






After a while~






Mencious goes back home softly and quietly；having the shoes on his hand .（He carries the book bag as well.） He doesn’t want his mom notices.



However, his mom notices.


Mom（bullocks）: Jimmy~



Mencious scares and then his shoes drop.


Mencious（says quietly and nervously）: Mom…..I …. I find no interest in the school. Teacher there is boring and always asks us to recite poems.



Mom: Come here.


Mencious walks toward his mom



Mom suddenly cuts off the cloth on the machine.



Mencious（screams）: Mom~ don’t do that ~ This work you have hardly made for a long time.What a pity!



Mom: Just like your learning. If you stop learning now, you are just like this undone work. You know how pity it is. And look at your father.(take out the deadee) Don’t you feel sorry to him?



Mencious（feels ashamed）: I see~ sorry mom~ I always let you down. I swear I won’t do that again.



Mom （pets her son’s head）;Good boy~









~Scene four~



Place: In the classroom



Roles: Mom, Mencious, one teacher, other two students



Mencious follows the teacher reading the poems with his classmates.





Mom is right standing outside the classroom. She is watching her son now, feeling really touch. （Mom holds the deadee on her head.）



Mom:Honey~ look! It’s our diligent son! You should feel proud with him!








The end