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[轉貼] [求助]可以幫我看一下自傳嗎??

[轉貼] [求助]可以幫我看一下自傳嗎??

[求助]可以幫我看一下自傳嗎??
這是要申請國外大學的自傳 因為第一次寫希望好心人能幫指正 <個人隱私部分有略做掩飾>




Personal Statement









My name is _________. I was born on July XX, 1XXX ,in Taichung, Taiwan, Republic of China. I was raised in a family of five members; my parents put great efforts into giving their children a home filled with love, that is, I had a happy memory about my childhood.






In Taichung, I received my early education ,six years in primary school, three years in junior high school and three years in senior high school. After completing the 12 years of formal education, I was admitted to National Xxxx Xxxx University. I majored in Chemical Engineering. There were three factors for my decision went as follows.









First of all, since my childhood I quite interested in cosmetics and Facial Products. In my leisure time, I would read some books about the principle of cosmetic. Besides, I even used them to doing some experiments. For example, I often mixed two different functional facial cleaning forms to test whether this mixture could become more effective or not. Second, I enjoyed chemistry and math so much and I often excelled in these courses during my years in high school. Last but not latest, when it came to chemical engineers, some people might regarded them as pollutant makers. However, I had opposite view about that. As the Chinese proverb went, “Whoever started the trouble should end it.”I thought the people who engaged in this field were not a trouble maker but a savior. It was mainly because many pollution problems still needed the chemical engineer to solve .Therefore; the chemical engineer would keep playing an important role in the future. With this believe, I determined to studying in this department.









During the two years in NXXU, besides academic studies, I also devoted my leisure time to associations and sport. I participated in the dancing club. Through the club, I understood many kinds of dances and known how to dance. In addition to join associations, I also spent much time on exercising. I enjoyed exercising to the point of perspiration in the fitness center. This was because I believe the more health body, the more knowledge we could learn. What’s more, I found exercise not only could keep my sharp but also could stimulate my innovation. Above all, it was a vital factor for me to motivate myself to take up a variety of challenge in the future.



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Considering my future goal is to get my bachelor's degree. If possible, I would like to get a master's degree or a PhD degree from an American University in the field of Chemical Engineering. Upon obtaining my Master degree or PhD degree, I will return to Taiwan to serve my people and country. As for my future career, I wish to contribute what I have learned in the United State to the field of Chemical Engineering in Taiwan.
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