[分享] Need advices--a new high school may be built--TOEFL essay
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[分享] Need advices--a new high school may be built--TOEFL essay
Need advices--a new high school may be built--TOEFL essay
本文章最後由 mrarching 於 2009-9-5 01:28 編輯
Hi, all
I'm preparing for TOEFL and this is my first TOEFL essay. I really need some advices on grammar, structure, vocabulary, etc. Thanks in advance!
Sincerely, Andy.
Topic: It has recently been announced that a new high school may be built in your community. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details in your answer.
Education is one of the most important basic functions a community should provide. Our community, however, lacks education resources with the nearest high school 3 miles away. Therefore, I strongly support the construction of a new high school in our neighbourhood which will offer more chances for education, a better environment for children to grow up and places for exercises.
First of all, the new high school to be built may provide kids in our community with more opportunities of high level education. High school subjects including mathematics, basic physics, analysis, advanced reading may teach children the basic skills that is useful in their life and their career. For example, if some of them picks up a career in business, the ability of analysis may help them understand the needs of the customers while at the same time maths could help them with their calculation of costs. Furthermore, a high school education is the prerequisite of a college admittion. Nowadays, a college degree seems to be the only way to have a stable job with a considerable income, in the increasingly competitive job market. As a matter of fact, we can never deny the importance of education to young people.
Secondly, the new high school may build a pleasant and healthful environment for teenagers to grow up in. Here they can communicate and cooperate with their peers and thus friendships are built and strengthened; they may also learn how to properly explain their own different opinions and how to deal with the inevitable conflicts between each other. In addition, with the guidance and spacial care of qualified teachers, teenagers are likely to successfully pass the rebellious adolescence period and shape good characters and aspect of life.
Finally, new school could provide new places and facilities for exercise. Our neighbourhood now have no basket ball playground, no tennis court, actually, we can hardly find a vacant place to do exercise. Sometimes, children have to play football in the streets which will create not only traffic problems but also dangers. However, The new school to be built could to some extent solve this problem that has long worried us a lot. Kids then will have the right place to exercise their bodies which is as important if not more important than receiving a good education.
With all the facts concerned above, A new high school is absolutely needed and desired by all for it not only improves education situation of the children in the area, but also helps with their mental and physical health.
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